Getting Your Relationship Back On Track

Why Relationships MatterLet's face the fact that one of the most
important aspects of an individual's life is their relationships with
significant others - be that a husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend
- and when this primary relationship goes off track, life becomes
unpleasant. When a person is unhappy in their primary relationship, no
matter how well the rest of their life is going, there is a feeling of
distress and unhappiness that is pervasive and unhealthy. If this
unhappiness and dissatisfaction goes on long enough, physical problems
and more serious mental health issues such as anxiety and depression
arise. In other words, getting your relationship back on track needs
to be a priority for a host of reasons.What if Your relationship is
Not Healthy to begin With?This is a serious question, and one that
needs to be thoughtfully considered. First, not all relationships are
healthy, and some can be harmful, destructive, or even dangerous. In
more serious situations, an unhealthy relationship can be life
threatening. In the United States every year, there are thousands of
calls made to the police for "domestic disturbances" that end with one
person in what should be a loving relationship being seriously hurt of
even killed. Thus, if your relationship is one where you are abused
either mentally, emotionally, and certainly physically, perhaps this
is not a relationship to get back on track but to find a way out of.
If this is the situation you find yourself in, seek professional help
and counsel to come up with a strategy to deal with the situation.
Simply put, abusers may get more abusive and dangerous if they sense
they are losing the object of their abuse.So How Do You Get a
Relationship Back on Track?There are numerous ways to get a
relationship that is worth salvaging back on track:1. Open up
communication. Begin to talk to openly with your partner about getting
the relationship back on track.2. Define what is was that was right
about the relationship in the first place, and see if you and your
partner can see where and when things may have changed. (You can do
this as a solo exercise, but if you can do it together, so much the
better.)3. Begin an appreciation journal. This can take the form of a
note in the kitchen or an email between you and your partner, friend
or spouse. The point is that even if the relationship has fallen on
hard times, there are still likely things you appreciate about one
another, and these things should be said.4. Try a once a week date
where you break out of your routine. This does not have to be
complicated, but often people get stuck in a routine and do not make
the effort to spend quality time with one another. Again, think about
what brought you together in the first place. You can go for a walk,
have a quiet dinner, go to a cafe for a special drink with just the
two of you, or any number of things, so long as it is done together
and with just the two of you.5. Recognize and fight the destructive
loops you might be in. We all have things that push our buttons, and
in a primary relationship, whether with a spouse, partner, or friend,
the long history together means that buttons are pushed easily. One of
the best ways to get a relationship back on track is to recognize when
you get into these destructive loops and stop them. Here's a clue...
If you are suddenly very angry or sad or depressed over an issue or
event involving you partner, then you are probably in a loop.
Recognizing what is happening is the first step to getting out of the
loop and getting your relationship back on track.Good Relationships
Are Worth Working to ImproveGood, solid, healthy and loving
relationships support us and make us stronger. If you are in a good
relationship you can weather almost any storm or vicissitude life
throws at you. Remember, you got into your key relationship for a
reason, and it was likely because the other person gave you something
you needed. Possibly, it was as simple as the fact that you liked
being around this person. The bottom line is that what once brought
you together as friends, husband and wife, or as partners, is probably
still there and can be cultivated and brought back to life with a
little mutual work. Wouldn't a good relationship be worth a little
work?