How Do You Make People Feel?

People may not remember what you have said or done but they wont
forget how you make them feel. Yet how many of us are truly aware and
conscious of how we make others feel in our every day life and
especially in our business and work where we develop our career, our
network, establish our niche, build relationships that can move us
forward? How you make others feel is a direct factor to how likable
you are? Think of someone who made you feel good and that may include
making you feel good about yourself too. What does this person invoke
in you? Do you wonder how this person does it or do you aspire to be
like this person? If you opt for the latter, there is a strategy (or
set of strategies) behind every successful person.Why is it easier for
some people to make others feel good or special than others? Why are
they able to influence others positively and make others feel
comfortable? Perhaps even cooperative, inspired, motivated? On the
contrary, think of people who are negative, antisocial and do not
attract others to interact with them.On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being
extremely good at making others feel good and 1, extremely poor, how
do you rate yourself? 1 10
_____________________________________________________________ Poor
ExcellentWhat can you do to go up a notch or more in this scale? Body
speaks more than words Be aware that your body language says more
about you than what you truly say about yourself. That is why people
may form a first impression of you even before you speak as you walk
in a room. And studies show that it will take a lot more interactions
for you to alter that first impression the person has of you. Connect
with passion You can learn all the etiquette and protocols of what to
do and not to do at a meeting, a networking event, a sales pitch where
you have to interact with people but if you do not have a passion to
connect with people, if you are not truly interested in people, your
audience will very quickly catch on to that. You may call this rapport
and using terminology from NLP (neuro-linguistics programming), you
are not entering someone else's world and not trying to read his map
of the world.No two persons will read a situation the same and no two
persons will feel the same about you. How you therefore build that
bridge to them will largely depend on how much you want to connect
with them. Subconsciously they feel your energy - positive or
negative. Respect needs time If you are in a rush, you will be hard
pressed to notice the fine details of an interaction. You may not be
able to notice the expression on the other person's face or notice
from his body language to know his state of mind. Being respectful is
taking the time to know someone and understanding his map of reality*
be it regarding a situation at hand or regarding the person for
relationship building purpose. How often do you see yourself meeting
someone saying all that you want said because time is precious to you
and your mind is onto the next event you need to be at? If you had a
chance to reflect upon it, perhaps you would not even feel that good
about yourself either. Be mindfully clear How many leaders at work
transmit mindless communication? How many people you encounter in a
day left you baffled not knowing what they have said in a meeting or
in a hallway after keeping you for 30 minutes? Make sure someone else
is not on the receiving end of the same from you. The choice of words
is also an important part of the equation. If the words that spill out
of your mouth (which means your mind) are words of frustration,
irritability, or if you are fond of jumping to conclusions, you run a
high chance of not inspiring someone else and making them feel you are
not someone they will want to go to, never mind hang out with. What
you say also clearly reflects your attitude and your outlook in life.
People want to be around people who are confident and have a positive
outlook in life.Be sincere and authentic You can master all of the
above and still not give a positive feeling to someone else - at least
not for long - if you are not genuine and sincere. Regardless if the
person you are meeting with is sincere or not, you maintain your own
integrity and be the person you really are. Being authentic does not
mean just sticking to your own way regardless. It means you have a
higher purpose of values and integrity and you work towards attaining
that. Positive state of mind How you make others feel is pretty much
your personal brand. Are you remembered as a positive brand, negative
brand or neutral? Having a positive mindset, which translates to
positive attitude, is so crucial to inspiring yourself and then
influencing others. With a positive mind, you expand possibilities and
choices for yourself as well as for others, thereby motivating others
to achieve their goals and be better persons for that matter. The
benefits of making others feel good are clear. You are well remembered
and well liked. People are more disposed to give you their time and
efforts. If you are a leader, people are willing to follow you and
join you in your cause.You develop higher rapport with them enabling
you to enlist more cooperation and participation. Plus studies show
that people who stay socially active have longer life spans. Have you
asked yourself lately how you make others feel? Or asked someone else
how you make him or her feel? Ultimately people base their decisions
on their emotions so how you make them feel lead them to decide the
kind of relationship they will have with you and decide the reputation
they will share with others about you. * In NLP terms, every one of us
interprets an event we process through our senses to form an internal
representation that is unique to us given that we filter our
perception with our values, beliefs, memories, decisions and even
language. This internal representation is also referred to as map of
reality which is what is reality is what we give meaning to resulting
from our mental filters.