The Little Green Eyed Monster

Jealousy stems from a fear of loss. Not just the loss of your
partner, but of self-respect and of being made to look a fool. A
cuckold. You start to imagine people laughing at you behind your back,
which can lead to feelings of anger, even hate, and hopelessness.We've
spoken lots of times before about imagination and what a marvelous
thing it is. How true, but here we see it being used in the wrong way.
It can happen for no apparent reason. Suddenly, this thought assails
you that your partner may be cheating on you.There's absolutely no
reason to think this way. With the thought, obviously, comes the
little green eyed monster. "Yes, they are, they are," it says in its
horrid little squeaky voice in your mind. "You see if I'm not
right."From there on in, you start to view your partner in a whole
different light. They give you a present. Conscience must be pricking
them, you think. Later that night, the lovemaking's intense, glorious.
I'll bet they were imagining I was him/her, you think. So when you say
goodnight to your lover, you're withdrawn, tense and say very
little.Your partner is utterly perplexed at this sudden, quite
unfamiliar side of you. They ask what's wrong, but you say 'Oh
nothing, I'm fine."Actually, it's wrong to say that this thought
leaped into your mind unbidden. Somewhere there's a reason. You may
have suffered bad let-downs in the past, where perhaps one or more of
your boy/girlfriends cheated on you unmercifully. So why won't your
current partner not do the same?Perhaps you picked your girlfriend up
from work the other day, and you saw her talking to a particularly
handsome man on the pavement outside her office. They were laughing
together and just before he walked away, oh God! she touched his arm.
You've often wondered why such a beautiful woman has chosen you to be
her 'steady.'It's all been some sort of cruel joke, hasn't it? How in
the world do you seriously think you can compete with a man as good
looking as the one she's just left? You can't, of course, but you've
gamely reasoned that apparently, for some odd twist of fate, she chose
you over him, so what are you worried about?But the little green eyed
monster's gleefully worried. She was talking to the same man yesterday
when you picked her up."Told you so. Told you so," goes that obscene
little voice. "Can't be with her all the time."She climbs into your
car, leans over and kisses you. "Thank God you came when you did. That
skunk's trying to hit on me. Sweetheart, if you can, is it possible to
come about ten minutes earlier and stand in the foyer for me? Then I
can go straight to you."You turn and look into that honest, open,
clear-eyed face. Later, you'll explain to her. Now, you take her in
your arms, but your mind wants to shrivel up and die