Setting Consequences That Get Results From Your Child

Consequences are a tool employed by parents to enforce rules and
limits. A consequence is necessary to help children make good choices
and for times that their actions require it. The parent should always
be consistent with handing them out, as doing it only part of the time
can be ineffective.A consequence must be reflective of the behavior
that has caused it to be employed. It should coincide with the child's
inappropriate behavior, and help to teach them how to improve
undesirable acts. It is not a punishment, but rather a way of helping
a child understand what is not allowed.Giving a consequence needs to
help the child improve behavior. If they have been out past curfew, it
may not be the best to take away their computer. Changing the time
they must be home to an earlier hour until the child proves that they
can abide by the rules you have set out is a far more effective
strategy.In order for consequences to work, there must be clearly
defined rules and limits. Once the limit is pressed, a consequence can
be given to counteract the behavior. If there are no rules, and
sporadic attempts to correct behavior, this teaches the child very
little if nothing about how to behave appropriately. Rewarding good
behavior is important as well, as it helps to reinforce desirable
acts.Rewards and consequence need to change as the child grows and
matures. They also need to reflect the act, and should never be too
elaborate. Keeping things simple and consistent are easier for
everyone, and the child will not learn to expect a large reward for a
small achievement.Parents need to ask what they expect to teach the
child when using a consequence. If it is a mild case of disobeying, a
mild consequence should result. For serious issues like stealing and
violence, it needs to be far more restrictive and unappealing to the
child in order to convey the message that the act was serious.Being
too rigid or simply mean with a consequence for children will only
teach them to rebel further. There needs to be consistency, and if the
child does not feel that they are constantly being grounded or other
wise, they may be more likely to respond to a parent. Ensuring that
rewards are given as often as they are deserved will also help the
child feel like they are doing things right.