How To Build Self Esteem

Most of the common causes of low self esteem can be traced at home
and the environment that surrounds us. �Lack of love and affection can
decrease one's self significantly. They have difficulty trusting and
mixing up with people. Excessive criticism and negative remarks that
are rude and vulgar can create a feeling of worthlessness, at times
making them pessimistic. Physical abuse that includes sexual and
mental is also a worst cause of low self esteem that normally comes
from family, friends, neighbors, strangers and foster or step parents.
I'm sure there are other causes of low self esteem but what I can
share to�you here are some of the steps you can build up your self
esteem.Here's a good definition. Self-Esteem is the experience of
being capable of meeting life's challenges�and of being worthy of
happiness.�- �National Council for Self-EsteemHere are eight action
steps on how to build your self-esteem;
Always greet the people you
meet with a smile. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence. I
remember giving a smile to a caretaker whenever I meet her on my way
to the office. She had this sad look �in her face but when I gave her
my smile, she responded with a nice smile too. What prompted her more
to display her smile was when I greet her, "Hello, good morning".
Listen to inspirational audio CD programs or podcast. I've learned
that feeding my mind with motivational and�spiritual talk helped me
built up my confidence, level of enthusiasm to counter on the negative
environment in my work.
Invest in your own knowledge. Enroll in a seminar class in some aspect
of professional or personal development. These events or activities
will help develop your skills, depending on your interest like
communication, technical, self development, dance, singing, etc. It
will also help grow the network of your friends and develop
inter-relationship among like minded individuals. One good resource is
meetup group like Personal Excellence and Growth Group, Cashflow 101
Game Singapore Group where I learned to develop skills and build
relationships too. By the way, I highly recommend that you join a
spiritual community.
Always say "Thank You" When you are given any compliment by anyone,
for any reason. Don't downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or
honor from others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal
mark of an individual with solid self-esteem, says Denis Waitley,
personal growth expert and author of many books, including "The
Psychology of Winning" (one of my favorites).
Find someone already confident in the area of expertise you need and
watch how they do it. Look for successful "role models" that you can
pattern yourself after. Find someone who has conquered what you fear
and learn from their experience.
Don't brag! People who brag about their own exploits or those who
demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up in
the eyes of�others since they don't perceive themselves as worthy of
respect.
When you make a mistake or get rejected, look at mistakes as learning
experiences. �After rejection, take a look at your BAG - Blessings,
Accomplishments, and Goals. Take a look at rejection as an event, not
as a turndown of the performer.
Act as if you already have the habit or behavior you desire. If you
were confident, how would you be feeling? What would you be thinking?
With practice, your behavior becomes a habit.I'm sure there are other
steps that can build up your self esteem. Once you gained the self
confidence, learn to be humble not arrogant. As Zig Ziglar says, " The
greatest single cause of a poor self-image is the absence of
unconditional love." Always carry with you the secret: " Love must be
within us before it can be given."