4 Top Child Communication Manipulation Strategies

When communicating to children consistency and joint problem solving
is very important to ensure the child's well being. As described in
the text, consistency when communicating with children helps the child
not get confused by mixed messages. An example of this can be seen
when a child is told that swearing is not allowed, but then the rule
is not strictly enforced every time the child swears. The rule no
longer helps to influence a change in the child's behavior because it
is not consistently enforced. By not consistently enforcing a rule,
the child is receiving the message that irresponsibility is not
punished.Consistency is also important when providing praise to a
child. It is important for a child to understand and hear when they
have done well at something. By providing praise for an activity that
a child is developing the approval helps to reinforce the child's
self-esteem. For example, every time a child brushes their teeth
without being asked, let them know how much it is appreciated, thus
reinforcing the activity and the positive behavior.Joint problem
solving between children and adults can be arduous and extremely
rewarding at the same time. The traditional role of many parents is to
exact an authoritarian approach to a situation, where everything they
say goes. This can often backfire when an adult becomes overly
authoritative, and the child begins to resent and resist the parent's
solutions to the problems. This can be avoided by using the
cooperative approach of joint problem solving with the child. Joint
problem solving refers to the cooperative process that can take place
between two individuals, in this case, a parent and child, and how
both parties can work on a problem together to find a resolution that
fulfills both their needs. This process is an excellent way for a
parent to include their child in the decision making surrounding a
problem, and to transfer a degree of power over to them.Taking into
account your family of origin, you can possibly attest to use at least
four different covert manipulation strategies within your family
dynamic. Covert manipulation strategies arise out an individual's
needs being unable to be expressed openly to another individual, and
thus a form of deceptive communication takes place wherein the
communicator has a hidden agenda. The first covert strategy that you
may have witnessed and used in communication with your family is
blaming and judging. This type of strategy can be seen in sarcastic
remarks that cut deeply. This type of strategy eventually loses its
ability to be an effective covert communication as the other family
members become more and more desensitized to the constant blaming and
judging.The second covert manipulation strategy that you may have
witnessed is the blackmail strategy. The blackmail strategy uses
threats to withhold something that other family member need. This type
of strategy becomes less and less effective as well; as the
blackmailer does not make good on their threats other family members
will begin to not take them seriously.Placating as a covert
manipulation strategy is one that a lot of families use. Placaters are
usually overly nice and avoid conflict, in hopes to rally support for
themselves from family members. This type of strategy can however lead
the placater to be taken for granted, and can reinforce feelings of
resentment towards other family members.The fourth covert manipulation
strategy that you may have seen and love to use with another is
bribery. Bribery works through the insincere use of favors and
flattery as a means to have other members of the family feel obligated
to return the favor. The issues arise then when the family members
that have been duped by the briber no longer trust the authenticity of
the favors and or flattery that they receive, and thus harbor feelings
of resentment to the other family member.